The Rantings Of A Mad Bean.....So Mad

 I just don't get it.... How does a person create a life, care for it for a bunch of years, and then all of a sudden decide to stop forever? How is it even possible to stop loving your child??? I mean, don't get me wrong, they can be a real pain in the ass! But I can't even imagine not wanting them for a minute, let alone forever. 

If you saw my Facebook live, you know what I'm talking about. If not, you're about to get an ear full. Errrr.... an eye full? 

-So, Dominic graduates this Friday. Yup, he's all grown up already. Sad times, I know. Well, Dom has always been the perfect child with a perfect attitude and perfect grades. He was nominated for the Honors Society, he received an Athletic Honors award this year because of his grades and being an athlete, and he's been working full time since he got his very first job last summer. He worked through last summer, he worked through wrestling season, he worked through his entire senior year, he worked through all of the fun of senior year....and he's always been a straight A student. He bought his own very first car and paid for everything that has to do with it. It's an 85 Corvette, so it always needs something. He paid for his very own computer. He helped family members by lending money, and he's saved up for his very first apartment. He's not a frivolous spender, and he's so humble that he doesn't want or need much. He's just a really awesome young man that just entered adulthood. 

Today I was told that he has $168 in school registration and athletic fees from his years in highschool that his father didn't pay, and nobody informed me about until I called to ask. Sabastian had $7 in fees and they made sure I knew he wouldn't walk at graduation if it wasn't paid. 

One hundred sixty eight dollars in high school fees..... and my perfect kid won't walk at graduation if it's not paid. Guess who just paid for the weekend of graduation and grad party. This guy. I don't have $168 extra. His father told him it's his responsibility. I'm so pissed I could scream. I love that man to death, but cheese and rice, Russ!!! Why the hell didn't you pay these damn school fees, or at least tell me about them so I could have taken care of them a long time ago!!!???

 I'm totally out of ideas to get these paid before Friday too!

And Jasmine's sperm donor....he's a whole nother ball game. I don't know what I was ever thinking even letting that man touch me, but thankfully I woke up very quickly and I have my baby girl. 

That man is a joke. I don't hate many people. I don't talk about people often. I hate that man with every fiber of my being and I wish I could tell the whole world what a big bag of shit he is. Luckily, Jaz is well aware and doesn't care for him either. 

I've been both parents for most of her life. When she was born, he wanted nothing to do with her and bad mouthed her to me. A newborn baby...he literally talked shit about a baby. Winner, I know. Then when the state went after him for child support, he wanted joint custody. Lucky for me, the judge saw what an idiot he was and only granted him supervised visitation. I did not want this asshole to be a part of my kids life. I saw what he did to his ex, the games he played between us, and what a horrible liar he was. I hate liars. That's one of my biggest pet peeves. 

So through the years as they got to know each other, they became close and he was a good dad for a really short period of time. He would ask to have her for weeks at a time, and she loved going. She has 3 sisters there. Well, she had 3 sisters.... Five years ago yesterday, her oldest sister passed away because her disgusting mother neglected her to death. Literally. She was disabled and incapable of caring for herself, and her mom decided to ignore her for days on end, in her bed, and she died. Obviously, that was really hard to go through for both parents, Jasmine, and her sisters...which are all less than a year apart in age. One is just 16, Jaz is 15, and the younger one is 14. They were all so close.

That July 4th he picked her up to go to a get-together at his then girlfriend's brother's house down the street. He called me bitching that she had taken a Dr Pepper without permission, and he was going to make her sit and watch her sisters have fun as a punishment. Dumb, but whatever. I was trying to give him the chance to parent. Well, the loser's girlfriend's ogre ass, 30 year old brother said something dumb to her, she smarted off, and this nasty swamp thing smacked my 11 year old daughter across the face.

When she came home crying and didn't want to tell me what was wrong, I knew something had happened, so I bugged the shit outta her until she spilled it. I was so mad I could have beaten the life out of this creep, but instead I informed the sperm donor, who didn't care because he saw it happen. So, I called the police. To this day he has not spoken to her. He hasn't asked about her. He hasn't even wanted to see her. Because she told on his girlfriend's brother. Wow dude. Real grown up thing to do!

On top of that, he gave up his 16 year old too and she's now in foster care.  He apparently only loves his favorite, the youngest. That's exactly how both girls feel, and that's heartbreaking. This douche canoe has kept Jasmine away from her sisters and tried to brainwash them into believing it's Jasmine's fault she isn't in their lives. Now that the older one has a social worker, my baby is able to have a relationship with her sister again, and that's all she wants. They got to see each other for the first time in years, just last night when they went to visit their oldest sister's grave because it was her death anniversary. Unfortunately, neither have a relationship with the youngest because of him. 

HOW CAN ANYBODY DO THAT ANY OF THAT TO THEIR CHILDREN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

That's all I want to know. How is it possible to just shut off love for your own little human like that? I don't think it's possible if you're actually human.

Take care of your kids, folks. Teach them how to be selfless and responsible. Raise them to be great people. It's our responsibility to create people better than we are. 

I know I've done my job right. Have you?

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